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[TheFerrett]

The goal of the Open-Source Wish Project is to create perfectly-worded wishes, so that when the genie comes and grants us our wish we can get precisely what we want. The genie, of course, will attempt to interpret the wish in the most malicious way possible, using any loophole to turn our wish into a living hell. The Open-Source Wish Project hopes to use the collective wisdom of all humanity to create wishes with no loopholes whatsoever.

The Open-Source Wish Project was inspired by this comic on Home on the Strange.

This wish's intent is to give the user the ability to have voluntary, enjoyable sex with any person he or she chooses to.

And this is how what we would tell the genie to get it:

Honestly, this is so open-ended (and potentially skeezy) I'm going to ask you folks to try to write the wish from the ground up. Obviously, this is going to deal with changing emotions, but rape fantasies are not cool. Also remember that sex frequently comes with emotional consequences, so try to make it so that if the person remembers the sex that the Genie can't "Fatal Attraction" the wishee.

1) If you think you have found a loophole (or "bug") in the current Wish wording that could backfire significantly, cut-and-copy the precise phrase you have issues with and post your suggested fix thusly:

BUGGED PHRASE:
…the erroneous part of the phrase.

POTENTIAL MISINTERPRETATION:
An explanation of how the phrase could be twisted to serve that genie's evil ends.

SUGGESTED FIX:
…the reworded phrase. Note that if you do not provide an alternative wording, you are merely wasting our time with nitpicking. Be a part of the solution!

2) If you think the current Wish wording is lacking something that could be disastrous, then post it thusly:

WORDING OMISSION:
…the suggested phrase you think should be in the wish.

POTENTIAL MISINTERPRETATION:
An explanation of how, without this added clause, our wish could come to ruin.

3) If you think the entire Wish wording is so hopelessly botched that you would need to wish for something else entirely to get what you'd actually want, post it this way:

BUGGED WISH WORDING:
Your new wording, rewritten from the ground up

REASON FOR NEW VERSION:
An explanation of why the foundations of the current Wish wording are so frotzed that it'd be better to start over, with a list of why your changes are better.

Periodically, all of the changes will be looked over by the moderators, and the most reasonable of the suggested changes will be incorporated into the official Wish text, at which point this thread will be closed and the new Wish version will be put open for discussion.

There are other Wish wordings for different goals, which you can see here. If you want to suggest a new Wish goal, go here. You may cut-and-copy the wish with attribution to its original source on Home on the Strange.

That said, let's wishulate!

[Aliza]

This is a skanky wish. However:

I wish that, any time that I am actively searching for casual sexual encounters, I will meet, and be mutually recognized by, an appropriate and desirable partner who is also searching for a casual sexual encounter, who likewise considers me appropriate and desirable. No external circumstances will prevent us from engaging in sexual activities within an hour(*) of our mutual recognition of our desire. Our sexual activities will be mutually enjoyable, and my partner will choose to depart as soon as I want to end the encounter, retaining only pleasant memories of a socially-acceptable event. Whether or not we choose to contact each other's bodily fluids, no pregnancy, disease transmission, or other adverse physiological reaction will occur to either of us.

(*) insert here other caveats about time.

[Aliza]

Oops, I didn't realize that this wish was about getting sex with the partner of your choice, as opposed to having unlimited sexual opportunities. Some of the clauses will still be appropriate, though.

[Ronfar]

Those of us with a dirty and/or perverted mind may find inspiration at The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive. (There's no pictures, just explicit text.) Yes, this wish can get us into very Chaotic Evil territory if we want to go there, but it's not like we're going to be encountering a genie any time soon.
_________________
- Doug

[Ronfar]

Another approach to this would be to wish for a (suitably tamed) succubus or other supernatural entity.
_________________
- Doug

[samldanach]

How about:

"I wish to be able to give anyone a spontaneous orgasm simply by touching their body and exerting my will."

Sure, it's not quite the same thing. But, I'd be willing to bet that, if Angelina Jolie got off every time she shook your hand, she'd be ripping your clothes off pretty fast.

It covers most of the other bases as well. The recipient would, pretty much by definition, be having a good time. Whereas you could get into serious sexual harassment territory, it's definitely not rape. The resulting sex, assuming it happened, would be consensual. And so, presumably, your partner would not walk away with hurt feelings.

Now, a Fatal Attraction scenario would still be possible. A woman becoming addicted to your "magic touch," to the point that she stalks you. But, unless she her own genie, law enforcement should be able to handle that.

[Ronfar]

I just thought of something kinda silly.

Horny Guy: [makes wish to the effect that he can get as much sex as he wants]

Genie: Granted.

Poof! Horny Guy is now a moderately attractive heterosexual woman, and is therefore able to get as much sex as she wants by picking up average single men.

Formerly Horny Former Guy: This isn't what I wanted! I can have a lot of sex, but the sex isn't worth having!
_________________
- Doug

[Tamfang]

My version of Aliza's wish: that everyone who desires me shall tell me so at the first discreet opportunity and, if I happen not to be interested, shall forget having done so.
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"How'd ya like to climb this high without no mountain?" --Porky Pine

[samldanach]

For many of us, that wording isn't likely to actually increase the amount of sex we get. We need to make others desire us, in addition to finding a way to turn that desire into actuality.

[JustACleric]

I wish, that upon finding a sexual and attractive person of my liking and sexual orientation, I will have initimate knowledge of said person of the carnal and social context in order to successfully engage said person and convince that a sexual encounter would be mutually pleasurable and attainable and be free to have the choice of a result in either the joint custody of an offspring or the consumation of a permanent relationship.

[Tamfang]

samldanach: I'd rather continue to shave my palms than "invoke the great roofie spirit" (as Buffy said to Xander).
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"How'd ya like to climb this high without no mountain?" --Porky Pine

[Ronfar]

[samldanach]

Then, clearly, you don't want to make this wish.

Unless you want to turn the wish around. Something like, "I wish that I had a combination of physical form and personality that the majority of <insert preferred sex here> find overwhelmingly attractive."

It's not an "I want to DO them" level of wish, as you don't necessarily get to pick anyone to go to bed with. But, it's very likely that you will turn on enough people that you will never lack for willing partners.

[Tamfang]

[samldanach]

Ah, but then you have to define "enough." There's a loophole waiting to happen. "Majority" is a nice, quantifiable term.

Especially if the genie decides that "enough" women are in a Bantu tribe in Africa, and you end up with a stretched neck and strange tattoos...